Fun Dip...Not a Good Idea

So, today is Thursday.  We don't see patients on Thursdays, so I use this day to catch up my work uninterrupted.  I happened to come across a package of Fun Dip.  My stomach seemed to be ok, and I wanted to treat myself to a little indulgence of sugar.

NOT  A GOOD IDEA!  By the time I got home, I fell on the sofa and felt like I was going to throw up all over the place.  Another item to add to the list of not to consume while on chemo.

A Night of Laughter

I want to tell you how much I love my Bible Study girls...
Amy, Jessie, Kelly, Lisa, and Shannon.  I haven't been feeling 
well lately...physically and emotionally...and I so look forward 
to every Wednesday night when I get to see these ladies.  Each 
one brings wonderful energy to our group.  Tonight we decided 
to have fellowship time and order pizza and wings.  They all 
know how tired I am from the chemo and let me lie in the big 
comfy chair, listen to stories, and laugh.  Even over silly little 
things like the towel ring coming off the bathroom wall when 
Shannon was drying her hands. All of you have been such a 
blessing.  I love you so much!

Emily, you have been such a blessing

My co-worker, Emily Beaumont, has been such a blessing.  Breast cancer is something she is very familiar with in her family.  She has been such an encouragement to me over the past two months.  So many things have affected me while fighting this vicious enemy of mine.

As if it's not enough to constantly think if you're going to die from this, but for some people to continue to be insensitive to what's going on is just the cherry on top.  Please understand me, I don't expect special treatment because I have cancer.  Just act like a decent human being and be aware of your actions and words.

I cried all the way home today because my body is torn all the way to the ground, and I feel like I'm being stomped on as well.  I truly don't think certain people really "get" what I'm going through.  At least that's how I'm trying to process it because it is unfathomable that someone could be so heartless. 

When I got the mail out of the mailbox, I had another card from Emily with uplifting words.  Thank you for putting a smile back on my face.  :)

How long do I have to get this Lupron?

I have to get a Lupron injection once a month to stop my body from producing estrogen.  My particular cancer is estrogen positive, which means the more estrogen in my system will cause the cancer to grow that much quicker.  However, it basically makes you body start having the symptoms of someone going through menopause.  Yes, it's really is nice not to have my period anymore, but the hot flashes are all the time!

I took this picture one hour after having my 2nd one.  I don't know if you can really tell how red my cheeks are in this picture.  I feel like I am going to combust all the time!

Hats, hats, and more hats

My mom is staying with us for the weekend to help around the house and take care of me so Jeremiah can have a break.  My mom is crocheting some more hats for Dr. Scott's (my boss) daughters.  I love you so much, mom!

Chemo #3

January 20, 2011

Woah!  My only word to describe today.  I had chemo #3.  I get my chemo where ever my oncologist is.  Today she is at her office at Kennestone Hospital.  When going through chemo, you will start associating certain sounds, smells, and visuals with the entire chemo process...and it's not a good association.  Here are my strong dislikes. 

#1  I officially can not stand the smell of rubbing alcohol or the saline flush (that you can actually taste!) when they are accessing my port.  I literally want to throw up with both of these smells.  On top of that, I accidentally saw the needle that accesses my port.  HOLY COW!  Shouldn't have done that!

#2  The beeping alarm from the infusion pumps.  There are a lot of people in the infusion room with you, and the alarms are constantly going off.  (i.e. the iv bag is low, someone has accidentally blocked the line by sitting on the iv cord or bending their arm too much, and I believe just to drive the nurses crazy)  I seriously jump when I hear any noise remotely near the sound of these infusion pumps.  I wonder if the nurses have nightmares about them?

#3  The color of my chemo.  They call it the red devil for a reason.  It is evil...but it is hopefully going to save my life.  See that syringe with all the red stuff in it?  That's my chemo.  When the nurse started heading toward my chair with it, I told her that she has the wrong person, to keep on moving and check someone else's armband.  No matter how pitiful I looked, she didn't fall for it.  :(

#4 Chick-fil-a.  I know, I know.  What's wrong with me?  How could I not like Chick-fil-a.  Well, I had Jeremiah get it for me for lunch at my first two chemos.  I guess my mind has associated Chick-fil-a with all the unpleasantness of chemo.  I took one bite of my sandwich today, and spit it right into the bag.  Can't do it.  So remember, don't eat anything you truly love while going through chemo.  TRUST ME!

Positives to put against today's negatives:  Dr. Volas-Redd (my oncologist) said it feels like the mass has shrunk 50%, my mom sent me a text about a new procedure to detect cancer cells faster called Liquid Biopsy, a touching story about a toddler who survived breast cancer. 



I want to say thank you to a special lady (Amy Moores) that I first met on the job years ago.  She now lives just 2 miles down the road from me, and we are reunited at a different work place.  Shortly after getting home tonight, she brought supper to my house.  The chocolate chip cookies were calling my name.  They were soooooo yummy!  Thank you so much, Amy!

Weekend with loved ones

Friday, January 14, 2011

1st ---  HaPpY BiRtHdAY MoM !!!!

My neighbor, Monique, went out of town this weekend for a scrapbook retreat.  Her daughters, Madison and Riley, spent a few hours with me until their dad (Jimmy) got home from work.  We ran a couple of errands and then vegged out on the sofa to watch "Ramona and Beazus".

We went in Kirkland's to just look around.  The girls were so excited when they saw three bags together that had all of our initials.



Trying on hats at Target (L) Madison, (R) Riley



Saturday, January 15

For Christmas this past year, instead of buying a physical gift for our parents we decided to take our parents somewhere and make a memory with them.  We decided to take them to something they never would have gone to on their own.  We love a comedian named Brian Regan and try to see him whenever he is in Atlanta.
We did take pictures of us with our parents...but I can't find them.  :( 

My wonderful husband, Jeremiah

Saturday, January 15

My weekend ended with some of my dear friends coming over to visit for a while.  Victor and Sandra brought their 2 year old son Thomas to visit.  Seeing Victor really meant a lot.  They brought southern comfort items....apple pie and sweet tea!  The nausea is really bad, so I unfortunately didn't have any.  :(  He has had precancerous polyps in his colon for a few years.  His doctor was starting to get worried that they were continuing and felt it would be best to have a colon resection in order to prevent colon cancer.  He had the surgery in December, and here he is at my house checking on me.  I have worried about him so much.  The cherry on top was getting to see his wife, Sandra, and little Thomas.  We haven't seen Thomas since he was a few months old.

Two of our other friends, Dan and Caroline, came by to visit, too.  They went with us to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse and then watched a movie at our house.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful support system.  It is really getting hard to deal with everything that is happening...emotionally, mentally, and physically.

My brother

I received an alert on my cell phone today that I had a message in my Facebook inbox.  I was so happy it was from my brother.  His message brought tears to my eyes.  He's not one to just openly express his feelings to me, so this meant more than he will ever know.  Stephen, I hope yo don't mind me sharing this on my blog.  I want you to know how important you are in my journey.  I love you so much!

Icy roads, bloodwork, and Longhorn Steakhouse

As of Wednesday late afternoon, we still had a good bit of ice on the roads and driveways.  Thank you so much to my neighbors (Jerry, Patricia, and Callie)....I hope I spelled Callie's name correctly...for helping to shovel the ice of the driveway so I could go to my oncologist appointment on Thursday, January 13 for my blood work.  I didn't want to go by myself, so more of my neighbors helped me in this mission.  Monique and her daughters (Madison and Riley) road with me and helped me feed my craving for feed my craving for Longhorn Steakhouse. 

Riley loved that this boy was wearing a hat like her dad's

 

 

Riley entertained me with her impression of Jeremiah

While waiting in the chair to have my vitals taken, this was my view

Madison and Monique

Riley and Me (with the hat my aunt made)

I love their Chocolate Stampede dessert !!!

Cabin fever !!!

As predicted, we got a good bit of snow last night.  (Well, a good bit of snow for being in Georgia)  We got about 6 inches at our house, and the roads are covered as well.  Because of the hill our house is on, there will be no going to work today.  We have been watching the kids and parents sledding for the past two hours.  I got a text from our neighbor, Monique Williams, wondering if we were coming out to play.  I thought about it for a little while.  Wondering if I should since my white blood cell count is a little low...and is it really safe for me to be sledding down our hill with the port and catheter in my chest/neck?

Decided to go ahead and do it.  I used my boots to control our speed going down the 

hill so we wouldn't have any bad spills.

Me, Riley, and Madison

A day of little surprises

Today had two small surprises from people who are dear to me.  Our neighbors, Jerry and Patricia, brought over some wonderful homemade brownies with caramel and nuts.....mmmmmmmmmmm!  Then the postman delivered a gift from my aunt and uncle, Bruce and Judy Gourley.  My aunt had crocheted me a pink and white hat and scarf.  The hat fist perfectly!  I have had a hard time finding cute, warm hats for when I don't want to wear my wig.  She included the crochet pattern, so I shared it with my mom.  We are expected to get a good bit of snow tomorrow and roads to be iced up for a few days.  Let's see how many my mom makes by the end of next week.  :)         

Thank you so much, Judy.

My mom made a small version for the dogs...hee hee

P.S.  Thank you mom and dad for coming up and helping cut firewood and get groceries before the snow/ice came.

Just standard blood work today, right?

Well, here we go.  The chemo is starting to affect my stats now.  My heart rate is up a bit, blood pressure has dropped some (which explains me being so light headed), and my white blood cell count has dropped a little bit.  The catheter and port is starting to be QUITE ANNOYING!

Because my stats were less than acceptable, I had to stay for some I.V. fluids.  Good thing I have my book with me.  Looks like I'll be hanging out in the infusion room for a while.


After leaving the oncologist, I "needed" to stop by Super Target for a few things.  Mainly for therapy.  Boy do I love that store!  Not only did I knock a few things off my grocery list, forget about my cancer for a few minutes while in the storage/organization section, but I got to see a dear lady named Stephanie Kennedy.  I met Stephanie about two years ago through my friend, Jessie Xayaseng.  Stephanie has such a sweet soul.  I'm so surprised she recognized me with my hat on to cover my 'boot scrubber' hair style.  They had just closed on their new house today, and she needed a few things as well.  Thanks for talking with me Stephanie.  Hope to see you again soon!

** Hope you don't mind me using this pic from your Facebook page.  I didn't have my pictures loaded on my computer today. **

New Years Day brings my dear friend Kim

Today was not only the start of a new year to come, but the day my dear friend Kim Hankins Vier came to visit.  One thing that has made my new life with cancer a little rough is being away from her.  Have you had someone ever tell you that you have a twin?  Well, she is mine.  Our souls are so much alike, our body type is the same (until I started putting on weight last year due to my body's increase in estrogen with the cancer), our manorisms mirror each other, and our hearts feel the same way on so many levels. 

I wanted to just break down and cry when I saw her, but my eyes held the tears right on the edge of my eye lashes. I'm holding the tears back now just typing this.  I wanted to tell her how much I need her while going through this, but boy does she have her own hands full.  She is a full-time mom to two beautiful young children (Ansley and Jackson), a busy wife, principal of an elementary school, and working hard to live a good Christian life in this troubled world we live in these days.  I hope everyone has the opportunity to meet someone in the course of their life like Kim.  Love you so much girl!