Jail Break

I needed to get a few items from the grocery store, but there is no way I can go by myself.  My neighbor, Monique, and her daughters picked me up for a short outing at Kroger.  I'm getting cabin fever from lying around all the time but don't have the energy to stand up.  I had a short list of items to get.  I hung onto the grocery cart as much as I could to keep from passing out.  We say another one of our neighbors as well, Jennifer Gilmore.  She always has a smile on her face.  Thanks for taking pity on my Monique and breaking me out of the house for 30 minutes.  Love ya!

I love the David's Flowers Staff!

Remember in a couple of posts back, I mentioned how sweet the staff at David's Flowers are.  I went in to work today, and there was a beautifully wrapped present for me.  They bought me the most comfortable pair of pajamas!  They knew that at this point all I want is a little bit of peaceful rest.  It's so hard having clothes touch your body or lie on one side of your body for even a short period of time.  Thank you so much!

Lazy Day

I am feeling so bad today.  I can't muster the strength to get dressed, much less go to work.  Look who's keeping me company.

Sucking the life out of me

The adriamycin has sucked the life out of my body.  I can't even begin to find the words for just how bad I feel.  Yes, you see me with a smile on my face and I seem very perky.  This is all a ploy to convince my mind that I am over coming the horrible effects of my chemo (adriamycin).  My blood pressure is extremely low, my heart rate in the 140s, and I have the worst head aches.  I'm so glad I only have two more chemo treatments to go.  Hallelujah!

Kelly, you are amazing

My friend and one of my Bible Study ladies (Kelly Bridges) made supper for us tonight.  I should mention she's having surgery tomorrow.  She is super woman!  Little did she know that she made one of my all time favorite desserts/breakfast meal/snack...monkey bread!  Thank you very much, Kelly.  We are praying that the surgery goes well and you will hopefully have some answers.  Love ya girl!

Thank you so much Dr Scott

I want to say thank you so much to my boss, Dr. Chrissy Scott.  The further I get into my chemo the harder it is to function beyond the bed or couch.  She provided supper for Jeremiah and me from Mellow Mushroom and Jason's Deli this week. Two of my favorite places to eat.  At this point, it's hard to get food and liquids past my mouth.  I wasn't able to eat any of it because of the nausea.  I did have friends and family helping out at my house so your thoughtfulness allowed me the opportunity to provide them a meal while here.  Thank you so much Dr. Scott for being so patient while I've been doing my chemo.

It's get harder and harder

I believe I'm at the lowest point of this chemo treatment so far.  I have always been an emotionally and mentally strong person, but this is kicking my butt.  I have cried for the past week at so many things.  I am always thinking about others instead of me...especially during all of the chemo treatments.  My friend Jessie, knows when I am not telling the truth about how I'm feeling.  She has me figured out right now, especially.

I never want to be a burden on anyone, so I just suck it up and push on.  I think there are very few people who truly realize how crappy I feel.  Just because I am still trying to go to work and maintain some since of normalcy in my routine, doesn't mean it isn't as bad as people have heard.  It's even harder!!!!!  I have been told by many people to file for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) and stay home and rest.  In the back of my mind, I keep thinking about all of our medical bills that have only just begun, how much work I will have to do to catch up when I do go back to work, and Jeremiah being worn out from shouldering the financial responsibility of all the bills being paid.  That upsets me more than pushing my body to do things I probably shouldn't do. 

My body hurts all the time time and I barely have the energy to go to the kitchen to get something to drink.  I will lie on the couch for several hours and not ask anyone to get something for me because I know they are already doing so much.  I know, my family and friends have chosen to help me.  Someone told me recently that I shouldn't deny someone the opportunity to bestow a blessing on someone else.  Makes a lot of sense...but I still feel guilty. 

 Taking hot bubble baths has been the only thing to lift my spirits a little bit.  My fur angels follow me everywhere.  Here they are while I take a hot bath.  I have to confess, I use the time while the water is running to cry.  That way Jeremiah doesn't here me.

Fur Angels

I really haven't felt well at all the past couple of days.  I have tried to drink more fluids (although my gag reflex has protested) to keep my heart rate down...but it's so hard.  My mom took me to the pharmacy to buy a blood pressure machine to make sure my blood pressure doesn't get out of control. 

My two dogs (a.k.a. Fur Angels) can tell I'm not feeling well and have stayed with me all day.  In fact, they find it necessary to lie on top of me.  I love them so much!

Happiness in a Vase

There's nothing like beautiful flowers to help you fell better.  My favorite place to receive them from?  David's Flowers in Dunwoody, GA.  Every arrangement you receive is masterfully put together.  It's like artwork.  They have some of the most unique flowers and they last longer than any other place I have gotten flowers from.  The bonus:  their staff is so caring and friendly.  Two of the ladies there are breast cancer survivors as well.

rut roh

 Today is my weekly appointment with my oncologist.  I woke up this morning not feeling well.  It's hard to tell if it's from the chemo or if it could be something more.  I have a really bad headache as well.

The nurse (Connie) started off checking my blood pressure, temperature, and drawing blood for my weekly blood work.  They want to know what my white blood cell count is and check my liver/kidney function, etc.

Low blood pressure (86/40) + high heart rate (144) + low grade temp = why I'm not feeling well

Dr. Volas-Redd wants me to start i.v. fluids today.  He is my response, "I already have a lunch date scheduled with my mom and friend (Monique).  Can I please eat lunch first and then come back?"  My body is being torn to the lowest point it can possibly go from the chemo and it's side effects, and I want to go to my lunch date.  They told me I could go to lunch if someone else drove.  They don't want me to be behind the wheel and I have a stroke from the high blood pressure (...and kill myself and/or someone else)  I'm by myself, so I drove to the restaurant and my mom drove me back to the doctor.

It's 2:00 and the fluids have started.  The hope is it will help bring my heart rate down.  After it was finished, it was down to 132.  They said I need to drink as much fluid as I can, but I can't stand the taste of water or the texture of it.  Yes, you heard me right.  Water does have a taste and texture when you are on chemo. 

Elmur Fudd, Sinead O'Connor, Patrick Stewart

What do I have in common with them?  Only one things...baldness.  

I can't take it anymore!  My hair is so sparse, and sticks straight out.  I'm ready to shave it off.  Here's a pic after I left the salon.  Susan who does my hair has been so supportive through my journey. 

You might be going through cancer treatment or getting ready to do so.  Don't let it control your life.  Show it who's boss and rock the bald!!!! 

Back to Breast Surgeon

I have been having fluid building up in the armpit area on my left side (the side I had the lymph node biopsy done on).  It's beginning to get uncomfortable,  I have an appointment with Dr. Johnson to check it.  My dear friend and neighbor, Monique, drove me because I just don't feel well.

Dr. Johnson did an ultrasound to see how much fluid really was in there.  She felt she needed to draw the fluid off.  100 cc worth.  Whew!  It feels so much better now.

I am Number Four" Chemo #4

Today is chemo #4.  It is getting harder emotionally and physically.  I'm doing this chemo at the Kennestone Hospital office instead of the one in Canton.  I usually have to go to the location my doctor is at that day.  Since I try to do it on Thursdays, I go where she goes.

As always, my appointment starts with accessing my port and blood work to be drawn before seeing Dr. Volas-Redd (my oncologist).  The nurse accessed the port and was able to get the saline to go into it to flush it but wasn't able to get any blood when pulling back on the syringe...which meant she wasn't able to draw my blood through it.  A sheath will sometimes form over a port because it is a foreign object to our body and this is our body's way of trying to protect itself.  They had me bend over, then raise my right arm and hold it there for a few minutes, and several other positions to try to get the blood to pull from it.  No such luck. The nurse had to use heparin to try and get it to open before they can start my fluids and chemo.  Remember how I mentioned in another post that I can taste the saline and heparin?  I was starting to get nauseated already, and we haven't even started the chemo yet.  What a glorious day this is going to be.  ***insert sarcasm here***

Now we have to use my arm.  My right arm.  I don't want to do this either, because I don't want to wear these veins out.  See, I can't use my left arm.  When you have lymph nodes removed you can get lymphedema if your blood pressure, blood is drawn, or an i.v. is done on the side the lymph nodes were removed.  So my right arm is the only option.

I got my Lupron injection today as well.  HOT FLASHES!

Once I finally made it to the infusion room, the heparin finally got the sheath on my port to open.  So we can finally get started.  My infusion starts with i.v. fluids, emend (for nausea), and steroids before the adriamycin (my chemo).  While doing this, I had an interesting man two seats down from me.   Eccentric is the word that comes to mind.  He was telling all of us about how they have goats/chickens/cats/dogs/etc and grow and raise almost all their food.  He was very entertaining.


Oh no!  Here comes the nurse with my tube of adriamycin.  If I throw myself in the floor and throw a tantrum like a two year old, do you think I could deter her?  As my bracelet says, "Courage" Dana.

While sitting here, I am on Facebook catching up with friends and family.  I just noticed my cousin Misty is in the ER at the hospital I am at.  I have been texting her to find out what is going on.  They are trying to rule out a blood clot in her leg.  Going to try to see her before we leave.  Want to see nurses panic?  Walk into the ER without hair and them know you are doing chemo.  This patient SHOULD NOT be in the ER with all these sick people.  I was given a mask to wear as a precaution since my white blood cell count is low.

Mmmmm....cinnamon rolls

I have chemo in two days.  My stomach is finally feeling well.  My co-worker, Shannon, had gown to Ikea today and know how much I  looooooooooove their cinnamon rolls.  She brought me back two pans of them.  I was grinning from ear to ear.  What foods do you still like to eat while on chemo?

Meth...just read and you'll get a good laugh

My boss, Dr. Christine Scott, was in the car with her two daughters one day.  The "Meth Project" has been running ads about how bad doing meth is, side effects, etc.  In this ad the girl was saying that her hair was falling out.  Katherine (7 yrs old) and Caroline (6 yrs old) had seen me a few weeks ago without my hair.  After the ad was over, Caroline says to Dr. Scott, "Is Dana sick from Meth?"

Dr. Scott came to work the next day and told me this story.  I just giggled and giggled thinking about it.  Now we joke around I say "I'm sick from meth".

Take Them a Meal

A dear friend brought supper to us today.  Christy is so caring and giving.  Thank you very much for taking time out of your already busy schedule to take care of me during this difficult time.

Jessie set up a meal schedule at Take Them a Meal for people to sign up and bring meals.  It has been really hard for me to give up some control over my life and let others take care of me.  If you are wanting to do something for someone and don't know what to do, this is an amazing website.  Jessie posted for those bringing the meals to bring it in stuff I don't have to return.  Even though I was really sick and didn't feel like eating much, it was nice knowing that my husband and whoever was staying to take care of me that day had a meal prepared for them.  Thank you everyone who has pitched in and brought a meal to our house.

$100

Remember my previous post that included my neighbor's daughter, Riley?  Well, Monique told me something about Riley that made me cry.  It was a good cry though.  Sometimes I think us adults underestimate children in what they know and how they can make very grown-up decisions.

Riley's teacher asked each student to write down what they would do if they had $100.  Any kid Riley's age might pick a new American Girl Doll, shopping spree at a toy store, or new clothes from Justice.  Not Riley, she want's to give her $100 to me to "pay for my cancer".  It has truly amazed me how she has processed me having breast cancer and how often she thinks about me and what I'm going through.

I love you so much Riley!

Kroger supports

My cousins' daughter, Kaitlyn, works at Kroger.  She has been such a wonderful supporter through all of this.  She sent me this text of her name badge with a Kroger name badge with their breast cancer ribbon she wears proudly.  I love you girl!